Friday, September 30, 2011

What Moves You?

I went for a pretty good run this morning. My proposed 2 miles turned into almost 3 and a half. This was surprising because I almost didn’t get out of bed. The excuses were flying around in my brain like bees around the hive. I’m realizing that I have multiple personalities and the conversations go like this:

Old Heather: I didn’t go to bed until midnight.

New Heather(THE REAL ME!): So, you still got a good 6 hours of sleep

Mean Heather: Yeah, fatty. Get up! You don’t want to get all chunky monkey again do ya?

Old Heather: I worked out twice yesterday!

New Heather: That’s awesome! You can still run this morning!

Mean Heather: Bully for you, LAZY A$$, now GTF UP!

Old Heather: You guys suck

New Heather: You’ll thank us for this later

Mean Heather: Suck it, GET UP!

Then I get up and get going. What can you do? Old Heather tries to talk the others out of the run until I get going and then suddenly she’s gone. She vanishes in a whirl of pounding pavement, sweat and music. Mean Heather quiets down. She likes running but she’ll be back if I ever want to quit.

The question still remains, once I’m up and going what is it that helps me continue? It’s the MUSIC. This morning as I ran, I realized that although my running mix is varied and may sound strange to others, it’s perfect for me. It reflects my personality(s) and keeps me motivated on my journey.

One of the first songs that came on today was “Let it Rock” by Kevin Rudolf. Holy Moly! This is a good one. It’s electric and rockin’ and the lyrics always get me! “Because when I arrive I bring the fire” YEAH I DO! And this other line that I fear will get me in trouble one day, “But it broke his heart so he stuck his middle finger to the world, to the world, to the world”…Probably not a good idea to accidentally flip off cars as I run!

Next it was Elphaba and Glinda. The line in “Defying Gravity” where Elphaba finally decides that she’s going to go her own way makes me want to spread my arms and run downhill. If I’m lucky enough to be running downhill when it comes on, this is exactly what I do. “Everyone deserves their chance to fly! And if I’m flying solo, at least I’m flying free.” Running is such a solitary thing for me, but I love it.

Then it got all sexy up in my shuffle! Ladies and Gentleman, I give to you the Kings of Leon! “Sex on Fire” makes me run faster! Why? Because it reminds me of how much better sex is gonna get as I get more confident with my body. Another good one? “Come on Get Higher” by Matt Nathanson (or covered by Sugarland). **Mom, if you’re reading this I IMAGINE sex will be awesome when I’m more confident…I don’ t really know!*** For the rest of you - "Bow chicka bow wow" (if you get my meaning ;) )

And then you can be magically whisked away to England! Ah for the love of Mumford and Sons! “I will hold on hope and I won’t let you choke on the noose around your neck. AND I’LL FIND STRENGTH IN PAIN AND I WILL CHANGE MY WAYS, I’LL KNOW MY NAME WHEN IT’S CALLED AGAIN” Hello?! If that isn’t a metaphor for my life what is? Finding strength in pain and changing my ways….

Then there are a couple of songs that I put on the shuffle just because I liked them and while I’m running they come on and I realize they literally have the word “run” in them…

In “Mama Said” by Lenny Kravitz he sings, “And I’m always on the run!”

Or Florence and the Machine in “Dog Days are Over” she sings, “ You better run for your mother, run for your father, run for the children for your sister and your brother!” This is a reminder that I’m not only doing this FOR me, but to be a BETTER me and that benefits everybody!

Suddenly the shuffle goes country! Thanks to Rascal Flatts “Feels like Today” is my theme song. Another song with the word “run” and it inspires me to make TODAY the day I’m going to be healthy and happy!

This morning I got a strange new song to make me run! “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel pops on. Too slow? NEVER! This song makes me want to persevere with the same defiance as Lloyd Dobbler holding up the boom box outside of Diane Court’s house. He isn’t giving up on her and I’m not giving up on me.

And after all of this almost 40 minutes have passed… I finish with a little Dave Matthews Band. “Lie in Our Graves” and the following line, “Would you not like to be sitting on top of the world with your legs hanging free? Would you not like to be okay, okay, okay” As a matter of fact Dave, I DO want to be okay. That’s why I run.

As I walk into my door the music ends and with it ends the silence of those voices in my head. This time the conversation is a bit different.

Old Heather: Wow! That was great. I’m really proud of you.

Mean Heather: Nice job kid, don’t forget to do the same thing tomorrow!

New Heather: Thank you.

Lloyd won't give up

Neither will I...

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