Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Everybody Needs a Mantra

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Okay, so we all know I'm a little bit cuckoo, but I'm pretty sure that what I did while running last night takes the cake.

I was running fast for me, faster than I have.....ever. I think tht I've been busy and subliminally I was thinking, "The faster I'm done, the faster I can do X, X and X" Also, about 10 people were coming to my house that evening for a meeting and I wanted to make sure I got there in time.

Well, I probably overdid it. I mean, I'm usually tired at the end of my run, but I don't usually pray to my dead grandfather and make up mantras...but for this run I did.

I kept saying to myself, "Just run to the next streetlamp, Heather" which turned into me saying "I LOVE LAMP" out loud. Just like Brick Tamland in Anchorman.

So now, when I run I have a mantra. I LOVE LAMP! Because I do!

Things That Are Different Now That I've Lost a Toddler

Friday, January 28, 2011


Last week my friend Staci and I were at a meeting (with a bunch of other peeps who may read this, I didn't forget about you, she's just key to the story!) and she was talking to another friend, Shauna who had her 3.5 year old son with her.
Staci said, "He's getting so big!"
Shauna said, "I know, he weighs 40 lbs"
Staci said, "Come here, we have to show Heather!"
She proceeded to bring Shauna and Braedon over to me to show me that I've lost the equivelant to him.
I was in shock. It's hard when you think of it this way. Another friend told me I'd lost a 1/3 of her, we're no longer friends. (kidding! we weren't that close anyhow)

Anyway, I've been making an internal list of things that are different now that I've lost the equivelent of a toddler...and I'm publishing it here for you TODAY! (I'm sure you're all thrilled!)

1. I no longer have to ask for a seatbelt extension on airplanes.
2. I no longer dread going upstairs. I don't get out of breath, unless I run...which I do sometimes.
3. When I get a massage my arms fit on that skinny-ass massage table, I don' t have to tuck my hands under my legs so I don't have to "hold them up" on the table (not relaxing AT ALL)
4. I run, no seriously, I run A LOT-because I want to, not because someone is chasing me. (sometimes I even run alone and on lunch breaks, WHO AM I?)
5. My clothes do not fit properly-this has some bad points, like how I look like I'm wearing a bag a lot of the time, but also feels SUPER good.
6. I'm obsessed with apps that track distance
7. When I get my va-jay-jay waxed and Ana (yes, we're on a first name basis-she sees my lady bits!) asks me to hold my leg, I CAN DO IT! Before it was difficult and I couldn't reach, but this last time I almost kicked myself in the face!

So there you go, a list of non-scale victories to go with a serious scale victory!

6.3 more lbs and I'm eating a cheeseburger and getting a new dress!

Smiling When I Run

Saturday, January 08, 2011

Who would've thought I'd go from grunting and cursing while I run to smiling and singing!

I got to the last three minutes of this weeks C25K training and realized how well I had done. I started smiling and singing along with my radio! I couldn't believe that I could actually sing along without being too out of breath!

I am realizing that my downfall is ALL in my head! The saying "Mind Over Matter" is so true!

The more I realize that I am in control of my body and my actions, the more I realize that I CAN accomplish my goals!

If I can do this, anyone can!!!!

A Picture Says A Thousand Words (or pounds)

Friday, December 17, 2010

So, I just uploaded a bunch of pictures onto my Spark page. They are all from Facebook and 99% of them I did not upload. The reason is, I have become a master at uploading only pictures that make me look thinner or where you can't see me as well. I stand in the back, make people take the picture from above (gets rid of that double chin!), and use other tricks to hide myself.

I didn't really take a "before" picture, so these are a bunch of befores and never-agains! I'll start posting "afters" soon!

As I go on this journey I realize how full and rich my life already is. I appreciate all the fun and friendships I have. These pictures are testimonies to the fact that even when unhappy with my weight and life, I was still a pretty happy person.

But now, I'm not only happy with all that's in my life, I'm happy with myself in it!


Bye Bye Before!
Cheers to being an "After in Progress"


Attitude Adjustment

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

So, obviously I'm noticing a lot of changes in my life. My clothes fit differently, I have more energy, I can run in short bursts and the decisions I make when eating have changed.

Another change that is happening is my attitude.

Yesterday on my way to the track, my car got side-swiped. If you're gonna get in a small accident, Jon is the guy to get into an accident with. He immediately pulled over, took responsibility and gave me all of his information. (For the record, it was his fault). What was weird was the whole time all I could think about was, "I gotta get to the track". Not going was not even a thought. I was never NOT going to go.

Back in the day (a whole two months ago) I would have used this event as an excuse not to work out. And no one would have blamed me. They would have said, "Get it in another day", "Make sure you and your car are okay", " Accidents are stressful"

But I HAD to work out!

What a change in my mindset to know that working on my fitness and well-being isn't an option, but a priority.

This small and barely perceptible change is so HUGE in my life.

So glad that I got an attitude adjustment!

See you at the track!


On Being Fat....

Thursday October 7, 2010

I know, I know I shouldn't talk about myself like that. I see all of your faces looking at me, like "Shut Up!". I'm not talking crap about myself, I'm talking reality.

I'm fat.

I'm not "pleasantly plump" or "plus sized" like the clothing stores will tell you I am. I'm not "full-figured" or "big and beautiful" like dating sites will tell you. (That really reels the guys in, let me tell you!) I'm not chubby or heavy.

I know how I got here. A steady diet of fat, sugar, heartbreak, self-loathing and beer helped. Combine that with being busy, feeling lazy and REALLY enjoying sitting on my ass on the couch, this is what happens.

I have become a person, I don't recognize. Sometimes I joke, "In my head I'm 5' 10" and 120 pounds" That's a little extreme, but when you walk by a full-length mirror and wonder who the fat chick is following you only to realize it's you--denial is afoot.

I don't feel like I weigh this much (I literally can't say it, it makes me so sick) I know I'll never be thin or skinny and I'm okay with that.

However, I do want to feel better.

I want to feel better physically. I hate running, but I'm jealous of those people who can run because I can't (yet).

I want to feel better mentally. I want to wear something cute and feel cute; not cute for a fat girl.

AND, I want to feel noticed. I know my personality fills a room so you can understand my dismay when I feel invisible. I feel invisible to the opposite sex. I know, it shouldn't matter what they think, find someone who thinks you're beautiful on the inside, blah, blah, blah. It matters. Ask any girl, single or taken, being noticed is NICE. Being invisible is not.

So, I'm working on it. It took a long time. I've always been a late bloomer, but it's time. I don't have any excuses left. It's either fix it and change my life or stay unhealthy and unhappy. I don't really have a choice, do I? Being unhappy, unhealthy and invisible is out of the question if I want the kind of life I know I'm meant to have.

So, Thank you.
Thank you for including me in a way that I didn't feel pressured
But most of all thank you for loving me enough to want to help me help myself.