Don't Provoke the Injured Runner

I’m annoyed.

Oh, and I’m in pain.

Yesterday I couldn’t run.

Seriously, it hurt. It hurts to walk. It hurts to sit. BLAH BLAH BLAH. It HURTS.

Now I’ve had some crappy, miserable runs before. I’ve even had crappy miserable races (Surf City 2013, I’m lookin’ at you!) but I’ve NEVER gone to Treadmill Class and not been able to at least ATTEMPT what the instructor asked us to do.

Yesterday, I walked. 3.6 for 45 minutes on a steadily increasing incline.

I hated every second of it.

I have been exhausted to my core in this class. The instructor has had me run at paces I will probably NEVER see on a sidewalk and yesterday I almost quit on a 3.6.

When I got off, she said, “Look, you’re here.  Every minute go up .5 incline until you get to 10.” So I did.

But I hated it.

Ditto on my left ROCKIN’ her workout.  I could see it was difficult and she looked awesome.  Erica on my right, that chick is superwoman.

Me. Walking.

5 years ago, if you had told me that not being able to run would put me in a funk, I would have guffawed in your stupid face.

I’m not running the Summer Series 5K tonight and I’m really worried about my weekend 7 miler.

I feel like I will DIE if I can’t run. But I’m in pain.

The back of my leg is constantly on fire. To the point where I brought a pillow to work because it feels more comfortable to kneel.

Yesterday, someone saw me kneeling and jokingly asked me if I was praying and in my head I screamed, “YES!!!! For my A$$ to stop hurting!”  (It’s not really my butt, but from the bottom of the left cheek to the middle of my hamstring.)

Running has become such a HUGE part of my identity.  I am miserable. It’s like someone took away my favorite toy.

The other day when I was at Treadmill Class, the instructor was making me do a quarter mile at an 8:34 pace then rest 30 seconds and repeat.   For me, this is fast.  My average comfortable pace is a 12:00 minute mile.  I was miserable and told someone that it was my idea of hell. Take something I love and make it impossible.

NO, THIS is my idea of HELL.

 Take something I love away.

I have a race in 6 weeks (actually 2 races, Thanks Disney!) and I really want to do well.

I don’t want to be injured or tired or in pain. I just want to run.

I will rest. I will stretch.  I will foam roll. I will ice and I will Biofreeze.

I will continue to work out in other ways so as not to lose all of my hard work.

But I gotta run.

I just gotta run.