Tuesday, January 20, 2015

The Space Between

I love Dave Matthews…one of my favorite songs is called “The Space Between” 
One of my favorite lines from the song goes like this, “The Space Between our wicked lies, is where we hope to keep safe from pain.”
I know this is a love song, but seeing as I’m not currently in love, I find other meaning. I’ve been thinking a lot about the “space between”.
The space that is a canyon between what I am doing and what I should be doing…
I am struggling. This is nothing new.  However, it occurred to me that I needed to really say what I should be doing. Say it out loud and make it real.
Maybe, just maybe, if I put it in the universe (aka this blog) rather than leave it hanging around in my head, where it jangles around like loose coin reminding me that it’s there but if I don’t spend it it is not really worth much, I will move closer to what I should be doing and further from what is actually happening now.
1. I work out- Maybe an hour a day, with one or two rest days depending on the week.  One day of Pilates, a few days running, maybe a spin class.  I’m not targeting anything. I’m not working until utter exhaustion. I’m simply burning calories.
 I should WORK OUT! – I need to change it up, find what will burn the fat and build the muscle.  I need to learn to get up early to get in a work out.  To really feel the burn!
 2. I take vitamins- a multi-vitamin and a fiber gummy.  That’s all
 I should take supplements- I start taking fish oils, glucosomine and other recommended supplements to go with my vitamin “regiment” and always stop.  (Start strong, slowly decrease until you’ve quit is gonna be a theme here.)
3. I am a bad sleeper- I get sick with worry and anxiety  while in bed.  My bed is a place to be horizontal and to watch Netflix and play solitaire, not a place to rest.
 I should sleep- I should make my room a place for rest and relaxation.  I should make a bedtime and stick to it, then make a wake up time and stick to it.  I should get 8 hours a night.
 4. I am unorganized- Work? Organized.  School work? Organized.  Volunteer  work? Organized.  Running plan? Organized. 
Bedroom, closet, car, laundry,  shelves, etc. etc.   A FREAKIN’ MESS!
 I should make it a goal to clean up the places I spend the most time.
 5. I eat what I want, when I want- I spend too much money eating out. I often put unhealthy food into my body.  I do not spend time fueling my machine for what I want it to do (be lighter, go faster)
 I should….shop for healthy foods, prep meals, eat clean. Treat food as fuel rather than something I have to do because I’m hungry or get to do because I’m happy, sad, lonely, etc.
 I need to bridge the gap.
I need to think about the words to Dave’s song as a long song to myself.
"The Space Between what’s wrong and right is where you’ll find me hiding, waiting for you."
I’m waiting here, for me to make changes.  If I’m going to do it, it has to be me.
That’s all,

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