Tuesday, August 30, 2011


When you are through changing, you are through. ~Bruce Barton

So, I've had a rough week. I know, it's only Tuesday but I'm overwhelmed.

As usual, I have over-committed myself to a variety of causes that I feel strongly about on top of school, work and taking care of myself. I do this to myself and I sincerely want to be a part of everything that I commit to. It's just that every once in a while it feels so big that I want to crawl in bed and do nothing but eat those oreos that are backwards (you know, vanilla cookie/chocolate creme) and watch reruns of Sex and The City, hoping and praying that no one will find me.

At least, that's what I USED to want to do...


I think what's peeving me is the fact that these things I've committed to are getting in the way of my commitment to myself.

That's a refreshing and lovely change.

Who'd have thunk I would be pissed because MY world doesn't revolve around me.

This is a way of thinking that I'm not sure I was prepared for.

I was so stressed last night that I accidentally left my gym bag on the floor of my office and I keep EVERYTHING in my gym bag that I need for a workout. I kept trying to figure out HOW I could get a workout in without my stuff.

Missing one workout won't kill me. Or will it? I'm not sure.

This week has just gotten so far away from me and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight but what I refuse to lose sight of is my commitment to myself and being a better, healthier, happier me.

It seems that with all the changes I've made in the past 10 months, the biggest one is a shift that was almost imperceptible.

I changed my eating...obvious

I changed my physical activity...obvious

I changed my body...obvious

I changed my attitude...OH SO OBVIOUS

But that change in myself, the change that made ME more important than everyone and everything else...that wasn't quite as obvious until today.

I will remain committed to the things I've promised. I pride myself on being a loyal person who is true to their word. However, I feel myself being drawn to more decisions that have my best interests, my sanity and my happiness at heart.

And that change is far bigger (literally and figuratively) than the smaller pants I changed into today.

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